When you are not in a relationship and are of age, you get mostly unsolicited advice from your parents, asking you to stop pushing love away that you are not getting any younger—or something of that nature. Usually, they mean well and only wish for your happiness. Now, when you finally have a boo, you become a dump site for both solicited and unsolicited advice.
Questions you may have like ‘should you sleep over at your partner’s place at this stage of your relationship?’ or doubts like ‘am I moving too fast?’ will have you bombarding your bestie’s inbox with messages or sending Google to work. When your friends or the internet suggests a possible solution to your dilemma, what should you do with those pieces of advice? Act on them or trash them?
Either way, Listening to or neglecting the advice of well-meaning friends or family members will affect your relationship. Don’t do what they ask you to do? There will be consequences. Do it? There will still be consequences. So how do you know if taking a piece of advice home will bring about positive or negative consequences for your relationship? You can never be completely sure, that’s the truth. But since it’s healthy to seek advice from experienced people when you are in a confusing situation, you will almost always be in need of guidance.
You just have to make up your mind on what to do with the advice. While you are at it, it’s important to be mindful of the following:
No Two Relationships Are The Same
People will often advise you based on their past experiences, forgetting that there’s no single script to follow when it comes to love. What you may perceive to be great in your relationship may come off to someone else as awful. And you may ruin the pure and innocent connection you share with your partner when you decide to follow their advice.
They Don’t Know Your Relationship All That Well
Really consider this point when you get unsolicited advice—advice you didn’t ask for. They know next to nothing about your relationship and yet there they are telling you what to do. Anyone that wants to dish out advice to you should be patient enough to hear all you have to say about your situation.
They May Be Biased
Best believe that if your friends or parents don’t like your partner, most of the advice they will give you will be biased. Besides, not all friends are to be trusted, even your closest friends. If they envy your relationship or recently had an unpleasant experience, it will be unwise to take their advice.
You, Alone Will, Suffer The Consequences
That’s an undeniable fact! When your friends advise you to give up on the relationship or get a divorce, they won’t be the one to go through any resulting pain or heartbreak. And if their advice for you is to endure an abusive relationship, you will also be the only one getting bruised up and soaking your pillow with tears. There’s no way anyone will care about your relationship like you do, so think twice before acting on any opinion that will affect you.
Your Instincts Can Be Trusted
It’s easy to doubt yourself, to wave off your feelings and reasoning as overreacting. But deep down, you always know what you want, so try to listen to your instincts sometimes. Filter every advice you get and make a decision based on your instincts.