For every 20-something who just graduated from college and got a nice job, the next step to take in the trajectory of life seems to be marriage. If you are not making efforts to find ‘the one’ you will settle down with, family and friends will be on the lookout for you.
However, ensure that you know what you want out of the marriage before you tie the knot. Some people view marriage as an escape from financial burden, a perfect solution to bothersome house chores or as something that solidifies commitment. What’s wrong with those views? Instead of seeing your partner as a complete human being that is subject to change, you are seeing them as ‘parts’ that will complete the picture of the perfect life you’ve imagined for yourself.
There is nothing like ‘finalized commitment’ either—marriage contracts can be broken, the statistics of divorce can testify to that. What pleasure will you even derive from knowing that your partner is sharing the same bed with you simply because they are legally obligated to stay? True happiness comes from knowing that they are kissing and holding you because they truly want to be with you—it is their choice, not the dictate of some marriage contract.
It is no news that people marry simply for social acceptance or for the sake of security—both of which can either leave you feeling disappointed in your marriage or have you living a false life.
To be boundlessly happy in your marriage, you’ve got to understand that the only thing you can control is yourself. Your partner is his/her own person and there is absolutely no way you can control what he/she decides to do in the future.
So what are some great benefits or points you should look forward to in marriage?
Marriage is not all sugar and honey. Ask any happy couple who have been together for a long while and they will tell you that ‘happily ever after’ is a mere fairy tale. As two people with different background and experience, you will definitely have peculiar flaws. Your marriage will only thrive if its foundation is built on growth rather than happiness. What does that mean? It means while you should be with someone who cares about your happiness, don’t expect that marriage will provide you with an endless supply of happiness.
Both of you have to make substantial efforts in helping each other survive hard times. Through loving and supporting your partner, you grow to become a better version of yourself.
Birthing and nurturing kids together is another great point to look forward to in marriage. You get to raise children together who may not only strengthen your bond but grow to become healthy kids who know the value of family.
If you want a lasting marriage, one you won’t grow disappointed in, you’ve got to make sure that you are marrying for the right reasons—that you don’t have a skewed or unrealistic expectation from your marriage.