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7 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

  • November 13, 2020
Mid adult couple lying in bed
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Mid adult couple lying in bed

You may have come across several books, blog posts, articles, and videos promising to teach you how to have better sex and please your partner.  While plenty (if not all) of this advice is helpful, perfecting your lovemaking techniques isn’t the sole path to having better sex. In a bid to help you have better sex, we have listed some useful tips that can help your lovemaking skills. 

Understand Your Body

Many people don’t get to know their bodies and figure out what works for them when it comes to pleasure. You can help your partner please you better if you have been able to figure out what works for you and what does not. Don’t be ashamed to do some self-exploration.

Don’t Fixate On Orgasm

Intense Os are great, but they’re not the be-all and end-all, and pressure to perform is like a cold splash of ice water on an otherwise good time. Putting focus on orgasm puts you into a negative feedback loop. You pressure yourself to orgasm, which gives you anxiety about not having an orgasm, which in turn makes you too anxious to orgasm. Instead of thinking of sex as a performance with a big finale, think of it as a journey. This will actually make you more likely to orgasm. When you don’t feel pressured, you can experience your full range of pleasure.

Ask Your Partner What They Like

Whether you’ve been together for years or just started seeing each other, it’s likely you’ll learn something new about your bedmate’s desires by simply asking. Communication is a huge cornerstone of good sex, asking each other what you like is pretty much the only way either of you is going to get what you want. There is no shame in having the sex talk with your partner. 

Sext Your Partner

Exchanging flirty texts with your partner is a good way of knowing what they like and enjoy in the bedroom. It may be hard expressing your inner desires in person but with texting, you are free to express yourself. Also, sexting keeps the spark alive in your relationship and also keeps things fresh. Sex and arousal can begin long before you’re face-to-face. Building arousal prior to sexual engagement will lead to peak sexuality.”

Lube Makes Everything Go More Smoothly

It cannot be stressed enough. Lube is great for adults of every age. Too many women act under the false assumption that they should be getting so ‘wet’ that they don’t ‘need’ to use lube. This is completely wrong. You should be using lube no matter the situation. Skipping personal lubricant can lead to vaginal tearing, irritation from friction, and pain during sex.

Try Out New Sex Toys

If you’ve never used a sex toy in the bedroom before, it is time to amp up arousal and to explore diverse sensations. Once considered the province of perverts, toys have come a long way in terms of image, features, and the materials they’re made from. There’s an exciting product out there for every taste.

Sex Means Way More Than Just Penetration

Sex doesn’t have a hierarchy wherein one act is better or more important than the other,” Engle says. To that end, she recommends more oral sex all around—not just giving, but receiving, too.

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