The idea of sleeping with your best friend seems like a fantastic idea at the moment. I mean, why not? You’ve known each other forever, you care about each other, you’re insanely comfortable in your own skin whenever you’re together, and maybe you’ve even been tossing the idea around in your head for awhile that sex would them would be great.
I’m not trying to scare you, but you need to know what you’re getting yourself into. You need to ask yourself if your friendship is strong enough to stand this. Sleeping with your best friend without the intention to be with them in a relationship is tricky to work around. If you must, here are things you should know before you sleep with your best friend.
It May Not Be As Natural As You Expect
Crossing the line between friendship to sleeping together may seem logical but you need to understand that the sex may feel weird. As stated above, this is someone whom before now, you have seen as nothing more than a friend. It’s not easy to transition from friends to lovers in a matter of minutes.
The Dynamics Of Your Relationship Might Change
Having sex with someone is like being invited into the intimate details of their life and experiencing it, not just being told. Now that you have both crossed that line, there are certain things that may change about your relationship and you need to be ready for the changes.
Boundaries Become Blurred
If you plan to have sex without dating, it might become hard to know where things stand between you two. Will meaning be read into you texting them late at night? Will you still be comfortable with them calling you to tell you about someone they are interested in? You begin to wonder, what are you two? Friends with benefits? Part-time lovers? Engaging in a friends with benefits relationship can be like walking with a blindfold on. You never know the boundaries that are established in regards to what’s acceptable and what’s not. Having friends with benefits is bound to become problematic as a result of uncertainty! Even if you’re anti-labels, it can be stressful to figure out WTF is going on.
Jealousy Could Set In
Fun fact about life: Sex can lead to unexpected feelings. Even if you’re happy that your friend (the one you’re sleeping with or slept with) found someone awesome to date and you don’t necessarily want to date them, it’s still possible you’ll feel a little jealous if they start seeing someone new. Having a FWB suggests that you two are not in an exclusive relationship. If seeing your FWB talking to other people bothers you, it signifies that you’re not OK with the casual status of your relationship with them. In other words, continuing to sleep together can only be detrimental to your head and heart.
Feelings Can Get Complicated And Confusing
You and your best friend may not be in love but having sex together can confuse your emotions. Like, should you feel more? Is it weird if you don’t feel more? Is that a desire for a pizza or a desire to see them stat? Not everyone is capable of having sex without feelings getting involved. Casual sex with someone who’s already a friend? It’s not as easy as one might think to avoid feelings.
The Friendship Could Suffer As A Result
Now that you have opened up the friendship to a mirage of emotions and feelings, the boundaries have been blurred and a situation created. All these could put a strain on your friendship. You might just end up realizing that your friendship wasn’t strong enough to handle all that sex.
It’s Never Easy Going Back To Being ‘Just Friends’
Trying to go back to the way things were is always next to impossible because lets be honest, everything has changed. You can do your best to get back on track and let it all be water under the bridge, but there’s no guarantee that you won’t see each other a little differently. Certain things in life are difficult to undo and sleeping with a friend just happens to be one of them. While not everyone may agree that sleeping with a friend is absolutely, positively a bad idea, it is important to keep in mind what it means and how things can change. It’s all about trying to figure out what’s best for your friendship and how much it’s worth to you.