Ending a relationship can be a difficult choice and even after it has been done, there could be lingering doubts as to whether it was the right decision.
As much as it might be hard to admit, sometimes people are better off apart than together. While the early days following a breakup are rarely easy, at some point the two people involved need to admit they did all they could do and realize that their breakup was the right choice.
We have listed reasons why ending that relationship was the best choice for you.
You Gave It Your All
If at the bottom of your heart, you know you gave the relationship your all and it didn’t still work out, then you need to realise there was nothing more you could have done. This isn’t giving up; it’s admitting that things are, perhaps, not meant to be. There is no reason to be hard on yourself if after giving all your effort, the end-result remained the same.
You Lost Yourself
Evolving and growing are part of any relationship but if you begin to doubt your own identity and all that you stand for and believe in, then there is a problem. Giving up core values, needs, and goals is sacrificing far too much of yourself. No one, your partner included, should lose too much of themselves in a relationship.
You Constantly Made Excuses
If you were trying too hard to convince yourself that your relationship was a healthy one when it doesn’t really meet up, it is best you took the breakup. Other questions to think about include whether you could communicate and resolve issues with them in a productive way, or if you felt there was no solution when you were upset. “Did you get stonewalled or was the blame turned around on you?” says Ross. “Did they make you a better version of yourself? Did you feel you could grow together, explore new things together? Did they keep you separate from their friends and family or did you feel the need to do so? Did their level of drinking or partying bother you? Were there trust issues?” If some of your answers to the above fall on the wrong side, you can rest assured it was the right decision.
Communication Was Toxic
The importance of communication to any type of relationship cannot be overemphasized. It also has to be communication that’s void of toxins like passive-aggressive responses, name-calling, and overall childishness. If you and your partner are incapable of holding healthy communication or worse, unable to even communicate, then you made the right decision to break up. Without healthy, productive communication, a relationship can’t exist. It’s like robbing a house of its foundation and hoping it will still stand.
You Were Together For The Wrong Reasons
People stay in relationships for many reasons and some of those reasons are the wrong reasons. A sign your breakup was the right choice is realizing “that your fear of being alone kept you in the relationship, not because of your partner’s qualities. Fear of being alone and not finding anyone else is valid but not a reason to stay in a relationship. If you can look back and see that you stuck around for unhealthy reasons, then pat yourself on the back. You did well by leaving.
