Love is obviously a beautiful thing, but what is not beautiful is a horrible relationship. There is this popular saying that talks about a broken engagement being better than a broken home and it’s true. Don’t you think it is better to be single than divorced? This question is in no way belittling divorcees, we are just trying to make a point.
A lot of people see being single as a shortcoming, but it is not. It is important to be in the right relationship than to allow pressure and expectations to push you into the wrong one. All your friends are getting married and you don’t want to be left out. So. Before anyone says ‘will you…’, your answer is already ‘yes, I will’ without spending time to understand if it’s the right move.
If you have decided not to give in to the pressure that comes with being single and you also decided that you can’t continue with your current relationship anymore, here are some questions you should ask yourself before ending a relationship.
Do You Guys Have The Same Goals?
This is basically the most important. For example, as a woman, if you know you want to be a working wife and mum, why are you dating a man who constantly reminds you that his wife is going to be a housewife? If you are dating a lady who constantly rants that she wants a man who has qualities that you do not have, why are you still in that relationship? You should be with someone who will help you achieve your personal and career growth. If it is crystal clear that your goals in life are different, end that relationship.
Can You Imagine Yourself Without That Person?
Ask yourself if you are going to be okay if you walk away from that relationship. If the answer is yes, you should call it quits. If you truly love someone, you won’t be able to imagine yourself without them in everything you do and every step you take.
Does Your Partner Put Enough Effort In The Relationship?
It’s possible for you to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care or love you. You are often the one making efforts and sacrifices. The best relationships are never one-sided. They often involve two individuals making reasonably equal efforts to make the relationship work out fine.
Do You See A Future With This Person?
If you look at the bigger picture and this lover of yours does not fit into it. Maybe he/she is not as ambitious as you are or he/she is abusive or there is a certain trait your partner has that you do not want in the bigger picture, you can call it quits.
Is He/She willing to change?
It is one thing to have bad traits, it is another to admit that and then make efforts to change. There are some attitudes that seem like a bad trait to one person and alright to the other. That’s where tolerance comes in, you have to be able to tolerate your partner and vice versa.
One of the qualities of a good relationship is the ability to spot and understand character flaws, talk about and make joint efforts to change, but a lot of people in relationships try to manage their partner and pretend as if whatever flaw he/she has won’t stand the test of time. That’s a wrong and risky approach. The best approach is to talk about his/her character flaws and demand change. If it’s something you can’t tolerate and your partner isn’t willing to change either, it’s ok to call it quits.
In summary, if you ask yourself these questions and it is clear that you are not in the right relationship, walk away. Being single is not a death sentence.