Growing up as a woman, you probably didn’t get the right sex education or even any sex education at all. And the little tidbit you got from your parents like not allowing boys to go near your vagina till you’re married because men respect virgins stuck with you till you reached womanhood. As a grown woman who has probably had sex, you now seek tricks to make your husband-to-be believe you are still a virgin, not questioning the sense in that.
The idea surrounding virginity is one of the reasons why the family of rape victims makes efforts not to report the case to avoid ‘devaluing’ the child. Even though it wasn’t the child’s fault that she lost ‘their meaning’ of virginity, they protect her ‘virginity status’ so prospective suitors won’t see her as tainted.
But is that really all virginity means? Do you cease to be a virgin only when your hymen breaks? If you said yes, sorry, what you believe in is a myth. Here are 5 common myths about virginity and its bouncer, the hymen:
You’re A Virgin As Long As You’ve Not Had PIV—Penis In Vagina Sex
If you define virginity that way, then that’s your own idea of it. Different people have different meanings of what virginity means.
Generally, virginity is a word that’s used to refer to someone who has never had sexual intercourse. It is not a medical concept, meaning your idea of what virginity is in relation to sex is influenced by your upbringing. While some people see those who’ve had oral sex, anal sex, blow jobs, fingering and so on as no longer virgins, to some others, only penis in vagina sex counts. There is no fixed definition of virginity.
The Hymen Tears And Bleeds When You Have Sex For The First Time
This is one of the biggest myths about virginity. There won’t always be blood the first time a girl has PIV sex because not all girls are born with a hymen and even those who were born with one might have broken it through activities that have nothing to do with sex. Many people, including women, have no idea what the hymen is. Some think it is a piece of skin tissue that covers every part of the vaginal opening which is why it must tear during penetration—that’s false. The hymen covers only a little part of your vagina opening and are very stretchy like a rubber band.
If you allow yourself to relax and engage in foreplays before sex, enough to naturally lubricate the vagina, you may not experience pain or bleeding the first time you have sex.
Tampons Affect Your Virginity
Your virginity doesn’t disappear just because you inserted tampons into your vagina to hold menstrual bleeding. Sure, tampons can tear the hymen but like you have already been said, the absence of hymen when you’ve not had any kind of sex doesn’t make you less of a virgin.
Doctors Can Tell Whether You Are A Virgin Or Not
Not all hymens look the same and as you already know, other activities besides sex can tamper with the hymen. So doctors cannot peer into your vagina and shout ‘Eureka, she is still a virgin’ or shake their head somberly and declare you a non-virgin.
Sexual Partners Can Tell
Your sexual partner will only accuse you of not being a virgin if their understanding of virginity weighs on vaginal bleeding during first penetration. But in the real sense of it, sexual partners have no way of knowing that a girl is still a virgin just like an experienced gynecologist cannot. However, it is advisable, to be honest with your partner about your sexual history for the safety and happiness of both of you.
Do you know of other myths about virginity? Kindly leave them in our comment section.