As young people, meeting someone and marrying them immediately might seem like the great thing to do. And it is. But before you do, here are five things you need to confirm before jumping into a marriage.
- Outgrow Your Immaturities: Don’t be that person who is not understanding, possessive, jealous, selfish and/or bitter.
The point is not to be perfect, but to outgrow all your teenage and post-teenage drama.
Before you dedicate yourself to someone, you want to be mature enough to handle the situations you’d face together with a sort of grace.
2. Love Yourself First: It’s impossible to love someone else when you don’t even love yourself. It can be easy to get lost in someone else due to this. All our self-worth begins to come from them. And any day they say something wrong, we break down, because we don’t know who we are without them.
Before promising yourself to someone forever, you have to be able to know how special and incredible forever can be with you. You have to believe that first, and not wait for someone to tell you.
Like Rupaul says, “if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell who you gon’ love someone else?”
3. Your Dreams Will Not Die: Contrary to some beliefs, following one’s dreams isn’t just a quest limited to a person’s 20s. The ability to continue to follow our dreams is a lifelong gift.
Before marrying someone, we all need to feel like we have followed our dreams pertaining to being young and single. We also have to feel like we will still be able to follow our dreams with our partner.
A partner is someone with whom to grow and follow the desires of your heart and mind. Being confident you can do those things without someone else, and that you’ve done all you’ve wanted to do on your own, is crucial.
4. Eliminate Unfair Expectations: We all do it, especially when we are younger and have less acceptance of our inevitable imperfections. We can’t expect perfection in our relationships or in who we are. We will be many things in our lives; we may even be mothers and fathers. If we are going to do that with any amount of happiness, we will need to be able to accept imperfection, and see the beauty that lies within each of us.
5. Don’t Marry Out Of Fear: Being with someone forever shouldn’t be because you are afraid to be without him or her.
The same goes for your career choices or your choices with living circumstances. You shouldn’t live in one place because you don’t know if you’d make it where you really want to be. You shouldn’t marry a person because you are afraid you won’t find someone else.
You shouldn’t settle in life at all, and you certainly shouldn’t do so because of fear. As adults, we must be able to thrive in the unknown, and follow the rhythmic passions of our hearts and minds.
During the years we are married, we will face situations that are terrifying and complicated. However, entering those years knowing that your heart is stronger than your sweaty palms can make all the difference in the end.